Meet the Mother
by PenonPaperFingersonKeys
Summary: "Mum!" James snapped, apparently on the verge of hysteria. Running his fingers through his hair he looked down at his smug mother with wide eyes. "Y-You...What did I tell you about talking to Hogwarts students? And, oh God, you had to talk to Lily!"
1. Part One: Mouths are Overrated

**_A/N: Well I'm not dead! Hope you're happy about that *lecrickets* Okay, well this is Part One of 'Meet the Mother' - the next part should be up...erm...when I write it. Before I say anything else though, I need to say a huge shout out to witchash196 on Tumblr._**

**_You are so amazing and kind and just...yeah, thank you so much :) The end of this was written by her so give her the credit for that!_**

**_Hope you enjoy the story and please leave your thoughts on it in a review. Also, feel free to follow me on Tumblr - my link is on my page.  
><em>**

**_Lots of love,  
>PenonPaperFingersonKeys<em>**

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><p><em>Three Broomsticks<br>(12:21)_

Felicity Potter sighed wearily, leaning back into the stiff wooden seat that she had been occupying for the last twenty minutes at the Three Broomsticks. Unfortunately, she knew her son and his best mate well enough to know that she would have to wait until it was at least forty-five minutes after the agreed meeting time before they _finally _turned up.

Nonetheless, it didn't prevent her from being punctual. She was perfectly aware that she looked rather silly sitting at a table by herself doing nothing at all. Well, apart from checking her watch every so often. Hogwarts students milled in and out of the popular dining location and Felicity amused herself by watching them on their dates (either having a good time or an awful one) or laughing about with friends. For a moment she considered asking a petite looking Ravenclaw to her left if she knew James Potter before deciding against it. James had explicitly warned her in the letter that she received a few days ago (alerting her to the fact that they did have a Hogsmeade weekend and reluctantly telling her that they could meet up at the Three Broomsticks) _not _to talk to anybody. The theatrics that he would exhibit if he turned up to see her talking to a Hogwarts student would be amusing, but entirely not worth it.

Felicity Potter could really only be described as a 'cool mum.' She and James often engaged in prank wars against one another and (most of the time) she let him get away with blue murder. She never pressured him to do well in school, although he did brilliantly anyway, and she usually just laughed when McGonagall sent a letter home. Some would say she had too much trust in her son, but they were wrong. She trusted him, but it wasn't really about trust. She just knew what would happen if she was hard on James all the time; he'd end up resenting her as she did her own mother.

_She_, unfortunately, did not have a mother as lenient as James did. Growing up, she'd been forced to behave in Proper Pureblood Fashion - until she met Daniel Potter at Hogwarts – a rebellious, outspoken and mischievous prat for whom she discarded all her pureblood etiquette and happily agreed to marry.

Unfortunately (for her parents anyhow), as a result of this defiance against her traditional family, in addition to further corruption from Daniel and her own free nature, Felicity Potter became a rather different woman from Felicity Dearborn. Where Felicity Dearborn was polite, well-mannered and obedient, Felicity Potter was often bordering rude, impish, blunt and stubborn - and had consequently raised her son to be. On numerous occasions, Felicity had slapped Daniel upside the back of his head for 'no reason' when James did something wrong and accused him of passing down terrible genes. They both knew that, in reality, James had picked up most of his character flaws from her.

Although, the 'character flaws' were primarily described as 'endearing quirks' for Felicity and James both. Somehow, the two of them managed to pull off arrogant, insolent and generally infuriating better than anybody else.

Felicity smiled slightly, raising the butterbeer glass to her lips. Her and Daniel really were the worst parents. But despite the fact that James was an annoying little brat, he was a good kid at heart– and that was all that mattered.

Felicity sighed, looking down at her watch. She knew that she really should have just turned up late; it was better than sitting in a bar crowded with young children (who were by comparison making her look extremely old) and feeling like she was being stood up on a date! The woman rested her head against the table top for a moment, revelling in the peace of the moment.

Unfortunately, it was too quickly interrupted.

"I bloody_ hate _James Potter!" Felicity – mother of said James Potter- sat up quickly, eyeing the two girls that took a seat at the table beside her. The redhead girl sighed, crossing her arms over her chest; she was evidently the one who had made such a violent proclamation about James. An infuriated scowl rested on her face.

Rosmerta - the pretty young waitress who had started working at the Three Broomsticks the year before - quickly noticed the two new customers and bounced over, beaming. She seemed rather familiar with the two school girls and, as the elderly woman who owned the bar glanced over, pulled out a notebook and quill, pretending to be taking their orders. Instead she was whispering cheerfully: "My, my, Lily Evans and Alice Abbott! Oh...What's wrong Lily?"

The petite blonde – Alice- rolled her eyes. "Lily's throwing a fit over Potter _again_."

Rosmerta giggled behind her hand and ducked her head as the owner glanced over once more. Felicity forced herself to appear uninterested. This day was turning out to be a lot bit more entertaining then she had expected. Perhaps she could find out a bit of gossip about James...After all, she found out more about James' life through his mates instead of her son – and even then, the information was scarce.

"That boy is as right a charmer as I've ever seen and I don't see why you're running away, Lily," Rosmerta scolded playfully. "I mean have you seen his _eyes_..." Felicity repressed a bout of laughter at the dreamy sigh Rosmerta emitted.

"Not to mention his hair!" Alice added, smiling goofily.

"Alice," Lily reprimanded, scrunching her nose in distaste. "You've got a boyfriend!"

"Doesn't mean I can't lust after the fittest bloke in Hogwarts," Alice said cheekily. Felicity raised her eyebrows infinitesimally at this description of her son and unconsciously leaned a little closer to eavesdrop some more. Her son was apparently a lot more popular with the girls than she had thought...perhaps she should have given him the respect-women-and-wear-protection talk after all. "Well, apart from Frank," Alice added as an afterthought.

Frank was assumedly the 'boyfriend' that Lily had spoken of. Lily rolled her eyes at the waitress and her friend. "Potter is _not_ that good looking. He's arrogant, stupid, immature - and although he may be a _little_ fit –"

"A little?" Rosmerta interjected dryly.

Felicity laughed slightly and smothered the sound by taking a large gulp of butterbeer just as the redhead seemed to explode slightly.

Lily huffed. "FINE! He's entirely fit and although he's arrogant and a bit immature, he's funny and sensitive and definitely not stupid and I want to throw him against the table and do dirty, _dirty_ things to him - half of which, incidentally, I don't even know _how_ to do – in fact the only person that probably does know is Sirius Black, the bloody git- and the other half of which I'm pretty sure are illegal!"

Felicity chocked on the gulp of butterbeer she had taken, making Alice, Lily and Rosmerta glance over.

Alice slapped Lily's arm lightly.

"Now look what you've done – scarring innocent bystanders..." Alice smiled at Felicity warmly, and waved her hand at the blushing redhead. "She's sorry. At the moment she's just drowning in humiliation to say so." Cheekily turning to her friend, she said conversationally, "Waiting to get that out for a while, Lil?"

"_Clearly_," Rosmerta said sardonically before looking back at the bar where the owner of the bar was looking over at them suspiciously. "It's been nice talking ladies, but I'll be going."

"Bye Rosmerta!" Alice and Lily chorused.

Felicity watched the waiter bustle away and glanced back at the two Hogwarts girls again a smirk playing on her face.

Here she was, in a position most mothers did not get. These girls clearly knew an awful lot about James Potter, they did not know she was his mother and her son was not here to censure what they were saying or what _she _was saying. Of course, the moral thing to do would be to tell the girls that she was, indeed, James Potter's mother...

But then again she was _James Potter's mother_.

Lily sighed and dropped her head into her hands, looking at her best mate for sympathy.

Alice offered little more than a scoff and a 'Shag him already'. Sighing, Lily turned to the middle-aged witch in the table beside them and politely asked, "Have you ever met someone that makes you want to kick him and snog him at the same time?"

"My husband, incidentally," replied Felicity, grinning into her drink. A sudden thought occurred to her. But no...This could surely _not _be the girl that Sirius had teased James about for _years _– the one that despised her son with every fibre of her body.

Felicity dismissed the thought; of course not. The girl – the one that James had been smitten with for years was most _definitely _not Lily. After all, hadn't Sirius stated more than once that James had not a snowballs chance in hell with the girl? Yes, he had. And although Felicity didn't trust Sirius with many things – such as knives, cookies and Muggle soda – she did trust him to know about his best mate's love life.

Felicity was interrupted on her musings by a still annoyed Lily Evans who, it seemed, had come to the end of her rope and was unloading everything on a complete stranger.

"I mean..." Lily sighed deeply, and placed her head in her hands. "Everything is just so _stressful_."

Felicity hummed. "Dear, come sit here and tell me all about it. I'm Felicity, by the way."

"My name's Lily," Lily said politely as she moved to sit in the seat opposite of the witch.

Within eight minutes, Felicity had heard all about Lily's first six years of Hogwarts. She had heard all about James being a prat, Sirius being a prat, James being an extra prat and asking Lily out and – briefly - about him maturing _slightly _in sixth year.

By the end of it, Felicity was furious. "So, this _James Potter_ is a git of the worst kind. Why do you want to do 'dirty, dirty things' to him then?" The reminder of what Lily had said made the redhead go a vivid shade of red.

"Well..."

In the next _seven_ minutes, Felicity Potter had heard about her son being the sweetest, kind - and possibly the best Head Boy that someone with so many detentions could be.

Lily's smile lit up her face as she recounted all sorts of very adorable and cute things that James had said or done – Felicity had no idea her little monster of a son _could _be adorable or cute – or when recounting the story of helping her with her Transfiguration assignment till one o'clock, even though he still had a Charms essay to do – Lily had returned the favour by staying up till three to help him with his Charms – or even when telling Felicity of the relatively harmless pranks, a change from the previous years, he and Sirius had pulled.

Lily's lips pursed at the thought of Sirius. "Although, _Black _is still a rotten sod..."

Alice, sipping her nearly empty butterbeer, rolled her eyes. "Come off it, Lils, you absolutely adore _all _of the Marauders. Even Podgy Pettigrew! And Black is possibly your best mate apart from me!"

Lily raised her nose in the air in a dignified way. "_James _is my best mate apart from you."

"Lovers don't count."

"Oh? Does that mean you have no friends now seeing as only Frank likes you?"

"At least I can get my bloke."

"And I _can't_?"

"_Girls_." Felicity sounded so much like Professor McGonagall in that moment that both Lily and Alice stopped instantly.

"Now," she continued. "Since James is your best friend, why do you hate him?"

"Because..." Lily murmured something unintelligible into her butterbeer glass, looking suddenly quite put out.

"Because," Alice laughed loudly. "Lily here flirted for weeks and acted like a desperate slag just so he would ask her to Hogsemead...and he didn't. Nothing. Nudda."

Felicity, who, despite what it may seem, knew her son quite well, shrugged. "He might be a little unsure and probably is just rubbish with girls. I know Daniel was-"

"Mum?" Two voices chimed from behind her. Felicity turned around quickly to see James and Sirius there, both with befuddled (and slightly horrified) expressions.

Turning back she saw Alice and Lily looking understandably confused.

With a wink at the girls, that the two boys did not notice, Felicity Potter sounded very much like her only son as she, muttered; "Don't worry. I won't tell a soul, Lily."

Lily felt something very similar to dread settle in her stomach.

"_Mum_!" James snapped, apparently on the verge of hysteria. Running his fingers through his hair he looked down at his smug mother with wide eyes. "Y-You...What did I tell you about talking to Hogwarts students! And, oh God, you _had _to talk to _Lily_!"

"Sit down, James," Felicity said, rolling her eyes. "Sirius, go to the bar and order some fish and chips. I'm starving."

James did not sit down.

Alice and Lily still had not moved from their chairs.

Sirius was snickering rather loudly, but moved to follow Felicity's request.

"And, actually, Sirius...Alice and Lily will be joining us for lunch. Fish and chips alright, dears? Good. Six meals please, Sirius dear, and we'll move to a booth." Felicity passed Sirius some galleons which he took, still laughing madly to himself.

Perhaps it was because of the fact that it was most _certainly _not a question, or the prospect of dining with James was too tempting to resist (even though they ate lunch together all the time; but eating at the village had an almost _date-like _air.), Lily did not decline the request of lunch, making Alice giggle slightly.

James still looked utterly mortified.

It was delegated on James to bully a group of annoying Hufflepuff third years into moving from their booth and he did so quite efficiently.

"_Get_." The third years looked like disobeying for a minute but, under the Head Boy's glower, they quickly vacated the table.

A few minutes later all five of the group were seated, waiting for their fish and chips. Lily, to her utter delight, was sitting between James and Sirius. Opposite her were Alice and Felicity. As Lily cut up her fish and vaguely payed attention to Felicity and Sirius talking, her arm brushed James'.

They both blushed and shuffled away from each other quickly, muttering apologies and not meeting the others eye.

Alice and Sirius watched with amusement. Lily and James were usually extremely comfortable in each other's company; James would quip, Lily would retort and it would end in a playful fight or heated debate. Nonetheless, Sirius and Alice were sure that Lily and James were acting odd.

And they both knew why.

The two exchanged looks over the table and grinned.

"Lily, dear," Felicity said, and Lily glanced up, blushing already. "What were you saying about James before?"

Although it probably would have been more likely for Lily to hate Mrs Potter – she didn't. In fact she enjoyed the elder woman's wit and cunning.

But at that moment on Lily's mental Push-Off-Astronomy-Tower list, Felicity Potter was at the top.

James looked appropriately startled, his eyebrows shooting up and his eyes flickering over to where a frozen Lily was sitting beside him.

"Er...Evans? You were talking about me to my barmy Mum?" James glanced at Felicity who raised an eyebrow, before quickly adding; "Barmy though she is I love her very dearly and will be very sad when she dies even though I inherit quite a bit of money."

"Better." Felicity approved, beaming. "Now, Lily, what did you say again?"

"Er..." There was an expectant pause. Lily cleared her throat once more. "Ju..Just...Nothing."

"Oh," Sirius smirked, looking infuriatingly mischievous. "I think that it was more than something. Care to share?"

"No, I'd rather not," replied Lily, her cheeks heating up.

Sirius nudged her playfully in the shoulder. "Come on, Lils," he encouraged innocently. "I mean, you were talking to _me _a few days ago about James! Why don't you tell him about that conversation?"

"Or the one with me," Alice added, grinning.

Lily shot a deathly glare at Alice and crossed her arms stubbornly, refusing to look anywhere near the direction of James.

Felicity clucked her tongue irritably; this would not do. There was no doubt in her mind that this _was _the girl that James had fancied for so long and – despite appearances – Felicity did care for her sons wellbeing. And it was already confirmed that Lily fancied James...For a brief moment Felicity was reminded of herself at Lily and James' age and Daniel's ridiculously subtle attempts at asking her out. Later she had scolded him for such a ridiculous tactic. It was no secret that Felicity was one of the bluntest women to ever grace the planet.

And, there was no denying it, Felicity very much liked Lily. The girl was witty, intelligent and genuinely cared about James – and James seemed to really like her too.

However that didn't stop from taunting the poor thing.

"Oh yes, do tell," Mrs Potter encouraged, a mischievous glint appearing in both eyes. "I'm sure James would _love_ to know."

Still slightly red in the face, but gazing at Lily with a curious stare, James frowned. "She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to," he argued.

Snorting, Alice gave Lily a look. "Of course _wants_ to," she smiled sweetly. Alice glanced over at Lily, blinking her eyes innocently, "Or I could always tell you about that dream she had the other night where you-"

"I need to go to the bathroom!" Lily blurted out, causing several patrons of the Three Broomsticks to glance over.

Sirius barked out a loud chuckle, abruptly turning it into a cough when James glanced at him quizzically. James turned to his mother, obviously looking for answers but Felicity only smiled serenely back.

"I'll come!" chirped Alice.

Glaring at her best mate, Lily insisted through gritted teeth; "No it's fine, I'll just be a minute."

Felicity watched the two of them with a knowing smirk. "Oh, my _dear_, a girl can't go to the bathroom on their _own_," she waved her hand at the idea. "You _must_ let Alice accompany you."

Throwing her hands up, Lily stalked off in the direction of the lavatory, the crowd parting hastily with one look at her murderous expression. She took a quick look at her appearance in the mirror next to the bathroom door, making a face at her messy hair. Unclipping the clasp on her handbag, she began to rummage for a brush.

Hearing footsteps behind her, she scowled without turning around, still rummaging through her bag for a brush. "I thought I told you not to follow me, Alice," she snapped. She glared into her handbag; where _was _her brush? She'd definitely put it in there that morning. "It's bad enough that I actually sat there for over a half hour talking to his _mother_ – his _mother _Alice! Not even some distant relative! – about how much I was in love with James Potter, without you trying to make me tell him my sex dream about him- Oh there it is!" she smiled up into the mirror, her hairbrush held triumphantly in one hand.

It clattered to the floor as she spotted the shocked, hazel eyes that gazed back at her.


	2. Part Two: Mortified

**A/N: **_I'm a bitch, I'm an awful human being, I deserve to have my favourite dress eaten up by ravenous hipster bloggers, I know, I understand, I feel your pain. And I'm awfully, awfully sorry that the second part to this has taken me - wait for it - FOURTEEN MONTHS? to update this. Yeah that's like, inexcusable guys. Jeez. _

_Okay, so a MASSIVE THANK YOU (you'll only get that if you're into One Direction - don't judge me) to tumblr dot com user _loonylevicorpus _for being awesome and betaing this for me. (Speaking of tumblr, I actually frequent that more than I frequent here so feel free to check me out and send me a message abusing me for how long this took. Whoops. My url is _sirprongs_. Okay here we go I'll leave you with a note towards the bottom. _

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><p>"James!" Lily squeaked in a voice that resembled a rat being strangled. She could feel the blush already covering her face and neck and she had a sneaking suspicion that she looked like a startled bird or something to that effect.<p>

If she hadn't been so hideously mortified – so mortified in fact, that she was already considering dropping out of Hogwarts and avoiding anyone with the last name starting with P for the rest of her life – it would have almost been funny.

Needless to say, Lily wasn't laughing.

James opened his mouth and snapped it shut, blinking dumbly at Lily. "I…er…"

"Please tell me you didn't hear what I just said," Lily pleaded, clinging on to the miniscule shred of hope that James didn't hear her confess her love for him. Even if it was certain that James had indeed heard her. He had heard every stupid, damning word that had escaped her lips, every embarrassing confession – he had heard her say that she had a _sex dream_about him.

"I didn't hear anything you just said," James repeated dutifully, but from the shocked, confused look on his face he was clearly saying that only to appease her. Lily groaned, sinking to the dirty bathroom floor. Tears were burning at the back of her eyelids but she refused to cry. She wasn't going to humiliate herself even further in front of James, who had not moved from the door, his jaw hanging open.

Blinking up at the ceiling, Lily sighed. "I guess you know now then." There was a pregnant pause and the two Head students remained completely still, only the sound of the muffled clutter from The Three Broomsticks to be heard. "Go on, tell me you don't like me, tell me you _just want to be friends_. It's okay, I'll get over it soon enough, but James, I just… I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and I'm so sorry that I've done this, and I _know _you've gotten over me and I know I was a bitch to you but –"

Her words stuck in her throat and she coughed, rubbing under her eyes. She _wasn't_going to cry. She _couldn't._

And with that, Lily promptly burst into tears.

"Wait, wait, Lily, don't cry, _fuck_," James hastily said from the door, running over to sit beside her on the floor. Lily moaned pitifully, burying her face in her hands, not wanting to look at James. It was already humiliating enough; she couldn't bear seeing a look of disgust or pity marring James' features. An arm snaked around her waist and she was being pulled against the boy's warm and comforting chest. If she wasn't so distraught she would have made an effort to pull away, but under the circumstances she could only whine and push her face into his shirt.

"Lily," James said softly, his hands stroking through her hair. "Lily love, I…I don't want to be friends with you."

Lily tore away from the sanctuary of James' arms, her expression aghast. "No! James, honestly, we can just pretend that this never happened, I promise and – oh Merlin, please don't stop being friends with me I don't think I could take that –"

"No, oh fuck no, what I meant was –"

"—I'm so sorry James, this is all my fault, I've ruined everything between us and this is all –"

"Lily, just _stop_!"

James flushed pink as Lily suddenly shut up, blinking at him a little sadly. He shook his head at her quickly, cradling her face between his hands and looking her seriously in the eye. James sighed, shaking his head once more. "I…I didn't mean it like that. I want to be friends with you – well I don't – no, don't look like that Lils, hear me out!" James took a deep breath in, composing himself. It was weird, seeing James so flustered. Usually he was the epitome of suave, but here he had lost his cool. "I want to kiss you, and I want to hold your hand and I want to be allowed to call you my girlfriend. That's all I've ever wanted."

"Really?" Lily asked, her voice impossibly small. Her heart felt like it was expanding, almost as if she was fitting her and James' love inside her chest at the same time. There was the edge of happiness flickering there, but it was only when James nodded solemnly that it exploded inside of her, filling her with warmth.

A big toothy grin spread over Lily's face, and James smiled back at her, mimicking her expression. "So, can I kiss you yet, Evans?"

Lily pretended to consider it. "I don't know –"

She couldn't even finish her sentence before James' lips were against hers, warm and soft.

For an extraordinarily long amount of time they stayed on the cold, dirty bathroom floor kissing. Lily's hand threaded itself through James' messy hair, tugging every now and again. It was a perfect first kiss, and Lily wondered if this was fate — if she was _supposed_ to be sitting here in the bathroom of The Three Broomsticks, snogging the boy she'd once claimed to hate and now loved with all of her heart. The thought was out of her mind too quickly to dwell on; Lily wasn't one for whimsical day dreaming and she didn't even believe in fate. Even so, the _rightness_of the moment tugged at her, making her feel like a silly little girl.

Finally pulling away, Lily licked her lips, smiling shyly. "I really like you James," she admitted, and the pleased blush on James' cheeks said it all.

"I really like you too, Evans."

"Oh fucking _finally!_" A loud, annoyingly familiar voice shouted from the door. James and Lily jumped apart, turning to glare at the smirking Sirius, Alice and Felicity standing behind him.

James pursed his lips in annoyance. "_Why_are you in the toilet, Sirius?" He paused. "And a girls' toilet at that."

"You were taking a suspiciously long time, Prongs, and now I see why," Sirius shot back cheekily, ignoring the way James looked like he'd very much like to saw his best mate in half. Instead he observed Lily with a pleased expression. "So, you two finally got your act together then?"

Alice squealed, clapping her hands together, "This is so fantastic!"

It felt like Lily's cheeks hadn't stopped being an ugly shade of red since it was revealed that kind old Felicity was kind old Felicity _Potter_. She couldn't bring herself to even glance in Felicity's direction, feeling hyper conscious of the messy hair and red lips that she was sporting.

She looked, in other words, thoroughly snogged.

"Oh, don't look so ashamed, Lily," Felicity laughed, rolling her eyes. Reaching a hand down she helped the young girl up, passing Lily her brush, which had been forgotten on the floor. "I've had a fair few kisses in my day, you know. Brush your hair though, deary."

"Er…yes, Mrs Potter," Lily said meekly and Sirius roared with laughter, clapping James on the back and giving him a hand up too. James shook him off, still looking a little annoyed that their snogging session had been so rudely interrupted.

"Don't call me Mrs Potter, love," Felicity said, winking at her. "We're friends, aren't we?"

"Yes…" Lily said, unsurely. It felt like the whole dynamic had changed, or perhaps being found on a bathroom floor with the woman's son had made the atmosphere a _little_ awkward.

"You are going to hang around for a while, I'd assume," Felicity said, and took the brush from Lily. "Here, let me do that."

Lily smiled slowly, glancing in the mirror and meeting James' warm hazel eyes. He was watching her with an affectionately amused look as Felicity brushed through her red hair, and winked when he saw her looking. Lily bit her lip, and, making sure the three other occupants of the bathroom weren't looking, winked back.

And, okay, maybe Lily was a little heads over heels in love with James Potter, but that was okay if he loved her back.

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><p><strong>End Note: <strong>_Uh, so shit quality ending for fourteen months of waiting? Hi-five Jess? ...okay. Anyway, thank you to all the people who read/reviewed/favourited the first part of this story all those many years ago and all the new comers who liked it too. You're all wonderful people who deserve wonderful authors who update straight after they post the first part. _

_Anyway, love you lots! x_


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